I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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