I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Your penis caused this!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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