so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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