just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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