You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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