She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
