I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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