I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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