Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
