I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
