so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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