I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
