Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize