He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
