Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
