She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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