The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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