ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
