yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
