just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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