Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
