how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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