why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
