So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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