his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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