Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
