I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
