I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
