in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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