Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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