Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
