So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
