Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
