69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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