Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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