I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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