In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
