It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Duck Duck Cougar?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
