wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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