How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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