Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize