Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Houston, we have a squirter
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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