I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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