1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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