is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
