you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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