I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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