mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
