bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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