I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
