I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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