i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
