Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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