I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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