I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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