Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ladies don't puke and tell
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
