me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
