he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Congratulations! We have a period
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